The Misfit's Manual to Removing Household Stains


Need to get those ink stains or marks out of fabric? You can use Isopropyl Alcohol or Pump Hairspray to blot away those stains. Saturate and blot with a paper towel, saturate and blot and those pesky stains should fade straight away.


Problem with grease stains or tomato stains on your clothes? Whether it is grease splatter from the frying pan or sauce stains from an eating mishap, you can rid the stain before it hits your washing machine.

As soon as you notice the stain, douse yourself (specifically the stain) in Baby Powder. Pat the powder into the stain and let it sit. The Baby Powder will draw out the grease and then your favorite shirt will be ready for laundry day. You do not have to remove the powder, just toss it in the washer with your other clothes. No fuss, no muss. Catastrophe averted, stain removed and problem solved!


If you happen to get into a bar fight, you should know that Hydrogen Peroxide removes blood stains from any type of fabric, as well as your face and extremities. You may not be the type to get into a lot of bar fights, but you may be the one with spastic kids or a clumsy partner, so keep this tidbit in your domestic arsenal for future use.


Do you want to rid your mugs and glassware of those pesky coffee and tea stains? As you know your dishwasher is useless, so try making a Misfit Stain Removing Paste by mixing equal parts baking soda, salt and 1/4 amount less of water. (ie. 1 tsp Baking soda, 1 tsp Salt, ¾ tsp Water). With your fingers, lightly scrub those stains away!


If you have every spilled candle wax on upholstery, carpet, fabrics, etc. here is the technique for you.


1. Get a spoon, some clean brown paper bags and an iron.

2. Preheat the iron to the gentlest setting.

3. With the spoon, scrape away as much sadness and excess dried wax as possible.

4. Place the bag over the waxy spots.

5. Once the iron is preheated, place over the brown bag and begin ironing like you would a pair of pants. The heat from the iron will allow the wax to transfer from the fabric onto the paper bag.

6. As the wax transfers, shift the bag so that you are always using a clean area. Use as many brown bags as necessary.

7. Upon completion of total wax transfer, discard the used bags, wash the spoon and put away your iron.

8. The last step is to throw away all remaining candles in the house; because neither you, or the candles, can be trusted!


Betty has the propensity, without permission from her extremities, to walk into walls, trip over air and knock glasses of hard-to-remove liquids onto expensive carpets. It's her lot in life, and she, happily, accepts it! The trick is to know how to come back from such disasters, specifically one's involving messy liquids. For example, let's take Green Tea stains, which, oddly enough, stain brown and not green.

A while ago, Betty's right hand haphazardly knocked over a glass of Iced Green Tea. She patted it dry and thought all was good. That was, of course, until 8 am the next morning, when she saw the massive brown stain on her carpet; which was so devastating that she had to leave it there for another four more days in order to come up with a removal plan. She did not have a carpet steamer or cleaner. She did not have Club Soda, which is a great carpet stain remover due to its carbonation. She did not want to spend money. So she used what she had. Baking soda, when mixed with Distilled Vinegar, causes a bubbly foam that mimics a soda's carbonation. So, with nothing to lose, she tried it. It worked! She's awesome!


(1) Scrub Brush

(1) Spray bottle filled with Distilled Vinegar

Baking Soda

(2) Glasses of Water

(1) Vacuum


1. Liberally cover spots or stains with Baking Soda.

2. Generously saturate stains with Distilled Vinegar.

3. Wait a minute until Baking Soda begins to foam.

4. Scrub away stains with brush and water.

5. Repeat as necessary.

6. Pat dry thoroughly.

7. Once completely dry, vacuum over area to remove dried baking soda.

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