BETTY'S BLOG

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06/01/2011
The Plight of Unwanted Facial Hair

This blog is dedicated to all of the women who suffer from aggravating unwanted facial hair. You know what I am talking about ladies … that one wandering black coarse or 3” never noticed hair follicle that impedes your life causing you to carry a compact mirror and an extra set of sharpened tweezers in your Louis Vuitton handbag. Subscribe Here

04/30/2011
Determining a Recipe's Skill Level

Recently I was asked how we determined a recipe’s skill level. Why is one recipe rated as Beginner while another similar recipe is rated as Intermediate? I thought this was an excellent question, so I will share with you the answer. Subscribe Here

03/01/2011
Women's Lib & The Demise of Chivalry

When I go out with a guy, I usually end up paying for my part of the meal, and not because I insist upon it either. I assure you that my wallet is so far away from the dinner table, I have to take a cab to pick it up. Subscribe Here

02/06/2011
30 Food Rules To Live By

For those of you who think it would be funny to hide or mess with my food, ingredients, etc. while I am either cooking or eating, you are not funny. If you do it, expect me to hide your wallet. When you see charges on your credit card for embarrassing sex toys, that is I, being funny. How does it feel? Subscribe Here

02/01/2011
Wake & Bake

Wake & Bake is NOT a new toy from Fischer Price nor is it a new cooking style of waking up and baking a variety of pastries. It does, however, have to do with cooking away what little common sense you have left, and it’s not a lot...obviously! Subscribe Here

01/16/2011
Where Has All The Pork Roll Gone?

One of the supreme joys of being from the great state of New Jersey is a delicacy that is surpassed by none, Pork Roll. Now, if you are not from the Garden State, you are probably thinking to yourself, “What the hell is Pork Roll and why would someone eat it?”... Subscribe Here

01/11/2011
Cake Flour: Great Baking Minds Think A Like

I took my daily jaunt to the grocery store, stopping at Ralph’s, one of Los Angeles’ most popular supermarket chains, in search of Cake Flour. Now since I rarely make cakes from scratch (because why bust your ass when Betty Crocker Super Moist Insta Cake in Box is awesome), I have never had a need to purchase Cake Flour... Subscribe Here

01/01/2011
Divorce

I heard somewhere that you should write what you know. So I’m sorry to say, if you were looking forward to this blog, you will be greatly disappointed. The closest I ever came to getting a divorce was going out with a guy that had enough potential to be marriage material. Subscribe Here

01/01/2011
The Absolute is the Demise of Success

Why must people qualify their actions or inactions as an absolute? I will NEVER call him again! I will QUIT smoking! I will NEVER cheat on my spouse! It is annoying, they will probably fail and it is time they learn that they can’t predict the future...no matter how persuasive (or gullible) they appear to be. Subscribe Here

12/01/2010
21st Century Technology

As I sit here on this lovely Thursday evening, recalling the events of the day, something hits me like a fly swatter to a pesky knat, "What has technology done to us?" Subscribe Here

12/01/2010
Health Insurance - The Devil’s Trick

A guy sits down at his kitchen table. In front of him lay five different health insurance plan packages he must choose from in order to sustain a long healthy life. He opens all of the packages and situates them side-by-side so he may compare all the plans and decide which policy is the most beneficial for his needs. Subscribe Here

12/01/2010
The Mirror Is Your Friend - Just Say NO To Spandex

I want you all to know that I will be lobbying Congress for an Amendment to Article 6 Under the US Constitution. The Federal Government should make it MANDATORY for every person in America to own a full-length mirror and to utilize said mirror before leaving his or her house! Subscribe Here

12/01/2010
Curb Your Damn Dog!

I have one simple question. When did dog owners become so lazy? Maybe they have always been lazy. I don’t know. But if I find one more pile of dog poop on my front lawn, I swear I will lose my mind! This blog is dedicated to the Pooper Scooper Law of 1978. Subscribe Here

12/01/2010
The Truth, The Lie and The Diplomatic “Period”

Raise your hand if you have ever said something that was inappropriate, rude or just down right mean. Oh, come on...be honest! Well just because you are in denial, I am not. Subscribe Here

Have time to kill while procrastinating your "To-do" list? Check out what's on Betty's mind. Her acerbic take on random happenings will surely entertain.

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